Please, for the love of God, shut up!

Tonight my husband decided to surprise me with a night out at our favorite restaurant.  We got a table by the window and settled in with our margarita and Dos Equis. 

That’s when it happened; Debbie and her deviated septum started talking….and never fucking stopped.

Did you know Debbie and her husband Ed spent the day and their pensions at Batavia Downs?  Boy, I sure hope they fix that slot machine, because it was just EATING Debbie’s money, EATING it! 

I’ll never get to sleep tonight wondering how Amy is doing after her surgery to remove that thing that was growing on her foot.  Will they ever figure out what is?

What about Cynthia and that damn Bingo?  Is she ever going to stop playing long enough to call Debbie back and discuss their trip to Quebec?

And that goddamn Words with Friends, telling Debbie her words are not valid…assholes.

Why do those people at Verizon keep texting Debbie?  Is the phone in Debbie's name or Ed's? Why don't they just text Ed?

These questions will just have to go unanswered, because we ate our food as fast as we could to get the hell out of there.

I hope poor, mute Ed goes home and shoves Debbie’s new Samsung Galaxy right up her ass, not a jury in the world would convict him.