So, Mrs. Pissy-Pants and her self-righteous, stony glare are waiting for me yesterday at the library front desk. I get out my biggest smile and my sweetest may I help you, because those miserable bitches hate that shit, and then it goes like this…
“Good morning, how can I help you?”
“Let me ask you a question, do we still use the dewey decimal system?” Eye roll.
“Why yes we do.” Big smile.
“Really, have you changed it?” Duck lips.
“Mmmm nope, it’s still just the same.” Turn up the voltage on smile.
“Well, it’s funny, I’ve looked all over for that book 1963 by Stephen King and I can’t find it.” Punctuates the sentence with head bob.
“Well, let me explain the trouble you’re having. The title of the book is actually 11/22/63 and it is a work of fiction by Stephen King. So, it would be located in the fiction section alphabetically by the author’s last name. Not, as you thought, in the non-fiction section, which is where we actually use the dewey decimal section.” Suck on that eyebrow lift.
“Is it checked in?”