Wednesday, August 10, 2011


This morning on the porch is probably the best yet. The sun is dabbled, the breeze is balmy, but not the humid sticky one we have had. The coffee is perfect and the puppy and the old cat have even decided to honor a treaty and enjoy it together.

But for me all I see is my daughter, all I hear in my head is me talking and giving her ideas and advice. I can’t be in the moment because I am too filled with dread and worry.

School starts in a few weeks and already it has started. Her group of “friends” is mad at her. They are all the best of friends, inseparable for weeks and then it happens. The ringleader gets mad because one of the other girls spends too much time with my daughter or she gets jealous over something my daughter has gotten or done or sometimes, it seems, she gets mad for no reason at all and the hate starts.

No one will talk to her, the ringleader won’t allow it. They make plans and do stuff without her and then post it all on Facebook for her to see. They lie and say she did things she knows she didn’t do.

It is all very confusing and hurtful for her. She would never do something like this to them and it is hard for her to believe, every time, that they would do it to her. I try to counsel and help her but it breaks my heart, every time.

They make up and the cycle starts again. I try to tell her to make new friends, but the thought of losing all three of them at once is so daunting to her that she just can’t imagine it.

“Where will I sit at lunch?”

“Who will I talk to in Science?”

“Everyone hates me.”

I have run out of patience with these girls and I have run out of advice to tell my own sad teenager. I long for the days of skinned knees, when a band aid and a kiss could fix it all.

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