I am a loud person. I talk, a lot. I smile and greet and try to make everyone I meet feel good.
When I am sad, or mad it is very obvious. I am quiet and withdrawn, and I don't really give a shit if you feel good.
Today I must have had 15 people ask me if I was alright.
"You sure seem quiet."
"Are you not feeling well?"
And I didn't have a good answer for any of them.
It didn't seem right to say,
"Well, it's my mom's birthday today and I haven't been able to kiss her or suprise her with a balloon or maybe a flower or take her out to dinner in over 20 years because she is dead."I just don't think that is the answer any of them were looking for.