Wednesday, November 10, 2010

fml

  • wake up and stumble downstairs for that first sip of coffee, only to discover it tastes like shit.
  • totally miss the opportunity to see this as an indication of the day ahead.
  • look into the mirror to see that the zit cream i have liberally applied to my face has made a red, raw map of ugly all over it.
  • leave late for the 13 year olds orthodontist appointment because she can’t find the retainer we are going there to have checked.
  • tailgate a rusty, crappy AstroVan all the way to the appointment only to see it pull into the same dr we are going to…awkward.
  • find out the kid is chewing on the plastic retainer and making it not fit properly and shell out $100 unexpected dollars to get a new one.
  • leave appointment and head out to UPS store. carry heavy, awkward box to door and realize the store is not open yet.
  • sit in car with kid for 15 minutes in complete silence while i ponder the waste of 100 of my dollars.
  • watch store employee arrive at exactly the moment the store is supposed to open and unlock the door.
  • carry heavy, awkward box back to store and listen to employee (who just arrived) tell me it will be a few minutes until the computers warm up.
  • walk around UPS store for 10 minutes while she tells me i will have to reach over the counter and lift my package for her because she has a 5 pound weight limit.
  • look at same employee like she is crazy when she asks me if i would like to take a few minutes to fill out a survey on my service here today.
  • finally head back to school with kid…we are so late.
  • listen to stomach rumble and grumble because i suffer from some weird affliction that makes me physically sick when i am late for something.
  • watch low fuel light blink on even though i just put gas in the damn car yesterday.
  • drop the kid off at school and feel relief that it will be 9 hours before i will have to argue about something with her again.
  • get home, pour more crappy and look at clock...it’s only 10am

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