fml

• wake up and stumble downstairs for that first sip of coffee, only to discover it tastes like shit.
• totally miss the opportunity to see this as an indication of the day ahead.
• look into the mirror to see that the zit cream i have liberally applied to my face has made a red, raw map of ugly all over it.
• leave late for the 13 year olds orthodontist appointment because she can’t find the retainer we are going there to have checked.
• tailgate a rusty, crappy AstroVan all the way to the appointment only to see it pull into the same dr we are going to…awkward.
• find out the kid is chewing on the plastic retainer and making it not fit properly and shell out $100 unexpected dollars to get a new one.
• leave appointment and head out to UPS store. carry heavy, awkward box to door and realize the store is not open yet.
• sit in car with kid for 15 minutes in complete silence while i ponder the waste of 100 of my dollars.
• watch store employee arrive at exactly the moment the store is supposed to open and unlock the door.
• carry heavy, awkward box back to store and listen to employee (who just arrived) tell me it will be a few minutes until the computers warm up.
• walk around UPS store for 10 minutes while she tells me i will have to reach over the counter and lift my package for her because she has a 5 pound weight limit.
• look at same employee like she is crazy when she asks me if i would like to take a few minutes to fill out a survey on my service here today.
• finally head back to school with kid…we are so late.
• listen to stomach rumble and grumble because i suffer from some weird affliction that makes me physically sick when i am late for something.
• watch low fuel light blink on even though i just put gas in the damn car yesterday.
• drop the kid off at school and feel relief that it will be 9 hours before i will have to argue about something with her again.
• get home, pour more crappy and look at clock...it’s only 10am